The year I learned to fly. But not well

Since this is the last year of the world, I have apparently decided I can be reckless. Of course, I have to say I didn't think I was being reckless, I was just taking down the Christmas lights the way I always do, by standing on the porch railing, which is more than a foot wide, and reaching up and taking them down. No big deal. Until I took a dive off the porch. Landed, fortunately in dirt, broke an azalea, but didn't get impaled on it.  Nothing is broken, but I did a world of hurt to my left shoulder and arm. I went over to Lynda's and after a bunch of my moaning, decided we'd go to the doc in the box over on Alhambra. Note to self: next year when I do the lights, wear some Victoria's Secret undies and shave my legs. It was really fun to be in the doc's office with gorilla legs. And of course I also had my ratty around the house sweater which wasn't even in style when it was new, and it's about 20 years old now. The only pills I ended up with were the ones on the sweater. And then there was the added humiliation of having to get weighed and being unable to quickly shed coat, shoes, glasses, things in my pockets, watch -- not to mention the extra pound of the aforementioned leg hair. Can't hold my arm up on its  own in the position required for keyboard playing.   I'm thinking that maybe with some GOOD drugs I could play the concert I'm supposed to be in Wednesday, but the doctor thought I seemed too interested in good drugs and didn't give me any.   And I got a lecture from the whippersnapper about why an elderly person like me, though he had the good sense not to use the word elderly, should realize that the consequences were worse from insignificant things as you get older. So I didn't bother to tell him that I ride a bike without a helmet and get out on the roof above where I fell from to clean out the gutters. Some things are better not shared. I was supposed to play at SRS tonight, but that was out of the question. Interesting thin the doc in a box told me -- if you're over 30 and you have your shoulder immobilized for 2 weeks, you'll probably never get the mobility back. So I'm standing around crying and dragging my arm up and down with the other arm. By the way, when I fell, the only witnesses were Jehovah's, and they came over and helped me and didn't even try to convert me. (I was home alone at the time.) sorry, once again, no pictures.